Students take turkey’s side
Editor’s note: Students in Natalie Frese’s second-grade class were asked by their teacher to write persuasive writings from a turkey’s perspective as Thanksgiving draws near. Here are their writings:
Don’t eat me, eat ham! Please don’t eat me! I’m extra salty and fat! I taste horrible! One day I played with a skunk so I stink! I lay eggs you know! I’m a special turkey!
Who said you had to eat turkey? Why not the ugly pigs over there. I’m a beautiful bird. DO NOT EAT ME! Hey, I’ll give you ten bucks if you don’t eat me. I’m 50% fat and 50% brains. Because I am a smart turkey I taste horrible! I’ll tell the farmer and your parents. If you want turkey so bad go find a wild one.
We turkeys lay eggs. Maybe I can lay a skunk in your soup. I’m very vicious ROWR! Turkeys are illegal. I’m like a monkey you know. Why me? Eat pigs or camels.
Don’t eat me!! Eat that pig please. Don’t eat me! I got sprayed by a skunk and boy do I stink! Don’t eat me for Thanksgiving. Eat the pig instead. I’m very salty. I’m just a turkey, eat ham. The pig is made out of ham. If you eat me I’ll lay an egg in your soup.
Please!! Don’t eat me! I’ll lay an egg in your soup and I’ll drool. You don’t want to eat me. I got bit by a tiger if you do eat me, you will get as sick as a rotten bird and I’ll throw up on your pan and I’m too special to eat. Please, please don’t eat me and I’m too fat!
I’ll be your friend if you don’t eat me. I’ll give you $20 if you don’t eat me. Please don’t eat me, eat ham! Not me! If you do you will get sick. Don’t make me get the big stick you will wish you didn’t. Leave me alone and don’t eat me or you are a mean person. Please I’m a valuable turkey so don’t eat me. I am serious about that. Good day.
Please! Don’t eat me because I want to be with my family. I never want to get killed because I’m too nice. I won’t get killed because I’m running away from you and I smell like a skunk. I smell like everything.
I ate a skunk and it was alive and it sprayed me so the inside of me is stinky. And I bet your mom wouldn’t eat me. A witch cast a spell on me so I’m poisonous. It is against the law to eat me.
Please don’t eat me! I’ll give you 10 bucks. Eat more…HAM! I once played with a skunk and it sprayed me and I stink! I am dirty! I eat mice and bugs! I will die if you eat me! I am a good nice turkey gobble gobble. I’ll be your friend if you don’t eat me!
Please, pretty please do not kill me! If you kill me I will stink up your whole house, because I played with a skunk and it sprayed me. I do not taste like anything. I taste like pills. I’ve tasted one before and they taste pretty bad. I will lay lots of rotten bad eggs in your house and I have eaten a skunk and lots of bad stinky bugs. Eat the deer.
I smell like a skunk. I can lay eggs. If you bite into me I taste like medicine that I tried before and they tasted bad to me.
Please I do not like to get eaten on Thanksgiving! A skunk sprayed me and I have rabies and I am really dirty. Ham is much better than turkey. I will give you 100 dollars. 50 percent fat you really don’t want to eat me. Please I have flies you know. So eat a wild turkey. I am not a fresh turkey. I will do anything for you but do not eat me. Got it?
Please don’t eat me. I got bit by a bear. If you do, you will be sick as a sack of rotten bananas. I will taste like a stinky smelly sock. You got to be kidding.
I’ll lay an egg in your soup. I am filled with fat. Please don’t eat me. I’m covered with bugs. I’ll make you sick. I’m barely poisonous! I eat ticks. I don’t have taste. Please just don’t eat me! I’ll give you 100 bucks. I don’t belong here!
Do not eat me for Thanksgiving! I am the worst turkey you have ever seen. Boo Thanksgiving! You better eat ham. Do not shoot. I will eat your corn. Tell you what. I’ll give you $19. I’m telling. You’re mean.
Please OW! Please OW! Please! Don’t eat me for Thanksgiving. I have rabies. I will give you $100,000,000. Ham is more better!
Please don’t eat me gobble gobble. And if you eat my legs I’ll be saying gobble what happened to my legs! Have you seen my legs gobble gobble? I lay eggs you know so I might lay an egg in your soup. So don’t eat me. I’ll do anything! Just don’t eat me and I smell like a boys gym sock and I’ll give you $1,000.
Please don’t eat me! If you bite into me I taste like devil soup. My family will miss me if you eat me.
Please, please, please don’t eat me for Thanksgiving. Please don’t. I taste disgusting! You don’t want to eat me. I’ve been sprayed by a skunk and I have a lot of fat!
Please don’t eat me. I smell bad. I am fat too. A skunk sprayed me. Please don’t cook me. I taste terrible.
Hello there. I am a very good turkey. Do not eat me, eat pigs, not turkeys. I was playing with a skunk this summer and the mommy skunk sprayed me. I would taste very bad!