Yet the result is a disarmingly complicated story that grows weirder
as it progresses. “Underworld” is neither scary nor particularly
exciting – somewhat of a drawback for a monster movie – but there’s
something absorbing about a tale so steeped in its own universe that
the rest of the world barely seems to exist.

Adding to the flick’s dichotomous nature is its visual design, which
is embarrassingly derivative. Maybe if filmgoers hadn’t been exposed
to “The Matrix” or “Blade” franchises, this project might seem more
revolutionary. Although the plot centers on bloodsuckers and
shapeshifters, to the viewer it’s still just a bunch of supermodel
types in form-fitting leather firing thousands of rounds of
ammunition at each other while flipping, hurtling and posing.

On a side note: Wouldn’t this entire exercise be more interesting if
no guns were used? One of the conceits about the undead is that they
are innately powerful enough to not need modern weapons. It’s
doubtful that giving Count Dracula an Uzi or Nosferatu a
rocket-propelled grenade would dramatically improve their repute.

“Underworld” involves a vampiric S.W.A.T. team led by Selene (Kate
Beckinsale). Her night gig is to slay Lycans, a group of werewolves
with which her kind has been waging clandestine warfare for centuries.

When Selene helps save a human named Michael (Scott Speedman) that
the Lycans are specifically targeting, she stumbles into a web
concerning ancient bloodlines and unlikely alliances. Entangling
matters is that she begins to feel something for Michael.

One other source that “Underworld” exploits is the works of William
Shakespeare. (Think of the vamps as the Montagues and the wolfies as
the Capulets.) But if you’re going to establish a Romeo and Juliet
dynamic, Romeo better make an impression.

Unfortunately, Speedman seems to be personality-free. Thus the crux
of the story – that a vampire could become smitten with a human – is
a bit hard to swallow.

Beckinsale isn’t exactly an actress one would describe as “bubbly,”
but at least she’s a pro who has proven herself capable of carrying a
lead role. In “Underworld” she desperately tries to generate a
romantic spark with her co-star to no avail.

While Speedman may be dull, Irish actor Shane Brolly (as the vampire
clan’s interim leader) is just plain awful. The gaunt hunk certainly
looks the part, but he collapses when trying to summon the menacing
intelligence that is necessary to portray such a scheming character.

On the flip side are Michael Sheen, as the scroungy leader of the
Lycans, and Bill Nighy, as the hibernating vampire elder who is not
pleased with being awakened a century too early. The veteran Nighy is
particularly good, considering he functions while buried under an
ever-evolving series of makeup and prosthetics.

Both U.K.-born actors’ ability at delivering venomous dialogue with a
bit of a wink is an immense help to a film that is so relentlessly
SERIOUS. It would be hard to name a release from this year that has
less comic relief than “Underworld.”

The overall look of the production doesn’t cheer things up, either.

The murky, grainy effort might as well be shot in black and white
because there’s barely a hint of color apparent. In some respects
that’s a good thing, because it helps tone down how much red blood is
spilled onscreen. But the desaturated textures also make it that much
harder to tell who is who, as the characters all seem to be dressed
in the same thing.

This doesn’t help the frequent combat scenes. Sometimes they’re like
watching a football game where both teams have on the same jerseys.

It’s obvious that former music video director Len Wiseman (who is
engaged to Beckinsale) attempts to echo film noir with his visual
choices. But it’s just too much, especially when the gloomy style
crosses over into the human world. This is the type of movie where a
bustling hospital corridor looks like it’s lit with a singlelava lamp.

The best thing that can be said about “Underworld” is that it
constantly keeps the audience guessing as to what is going to happen
next. The strength of its narrative (by Wiseman and screenwriters
Kevin Grevioux and Danny McBride) lies in having the characters and
their motivations frequently change in terms of how the audience
perceives them.

By the end, it’s obvious there aren’t any clear-cut “good guys and
bad guys” in this peculiar picture. But one guesses that’s to be
expected in a film about vampires and werewolves.